Can anyone help me? Please?
Im 19 and have a 15 year old girlfriend, please dont give me any negative comments about the age difference, Ive heard it all and it doesnt mean a dam
I'm 19 and have a 15 year old girlfriend, please don't give me any negative comments about the age difference, I've heard it all and it doesn't mean a damn thing to me. Her father constantly makes her cry, he insults her, unrightfully calls her names like selfish and untrusting and it's gotten to the point where she begs me to run away from home with her. I'm scared of the consequences for both me and her if we are to run away and get caught, but I'm scared that if I don't do something soon she will either commit suicide, harm herself, or turn to drugs. I guess my question is what can I do to help her without getting myself into trouble? I love this girl and I can't take her being so sad anymore. Ive got to do something. Is there any way I can prove him to be an unfit parent?
or:I'm 19 and have a 15 year old girlfriend, please don't give me any negative comments about the age difference, I've heard it all and it doesn't mean a damn thing to me. Her father constantly makes her cry, he insults her, unrightfully calls her names like selfish and untrusting and it's gotten to the point where she begs me to run away from home with her. I'm scared of the consequences for both me and her if we are to run away and get caught, but I'm scared that if I don't do something soon she will either commit suicide, harm herself, or turn to drugs. I guess my question is what can I do to help her without getting myself into trouble? I love this girl and I can't take her being so sad anymore. Ive got to do something. Is there any way I can prove him to be an unfit parent?
or:This is a difficult question my friend! You mention the 'age' difference. Is her father angry at her simply because she has an 19 year old boyfriend? If that is the case, then, to a mild degree, one could sympathise with him. He may well be angry with her, concerned and upset at the fact that she may well be having sexual intercourse with you. At 15 she is, by law, not old enough to have sex. Fathers can and do become overly protective especially where their daughters are concerned. You sound heavily involved as a couple. Is your relationship distracting her school work or other aspects of her life? Her father will be watching and no doubt worrying about her, not only in the hear and now, but for her future! Will she make a silly mistake like getting pregnant and if so, will you stick by her or leave her as a single parent? Either way, who wants a 15 year old to become pregnant? Those are likely to be his worries! Does her father get on with you, does he like you, is he 'OK' with your relationship? You don't make that clear!! You talk a lot about his unacceptable behaviour towards her. It does sound bad and damaging. He is either attempting to protect her {we all need to protect our children}, or, he just could well be a generally abusing father that would behave like he behaves whatever his daughters situation is!! If it is the latter then, yes, she does need protecting by someone else and he is an unfit parent.Be sure of his motives before you attribute blame! The other day I saw a young woman in the street with her little boy. The little lad ran out into the road and was nearly hit by a passing car. His mother hysterically screamed at him and smacked him. Was she protecting him or was she abusing him???
or:Ok, first thing, i dont see any problem with the age difference you have. It could be worse (my old teacher got married to someone 15 years older then them). About the father situation... Maybe she should run away. Live with one of her close friends, but not with you. He will think its you and chase you down. If he figures she isnt with you he will leave you alone (maybe). Maybe consider running away to some relatives (together) like Uncles and Aunties (preferably ones you are close with and you know that they wont mind the whole situation. No promises that these will work, but they are ideas for you to take into consideration.
or:I know the age difference looks bad and sounds bad but honestly it isn't. When I was 15 I started dating a guy that was 20. We met at a church college retreat so he thought I was older. I didn't tell him any different for a week or two afterwards and by then it was too late. I am now 35 and look back on our two years together as the best first relationship I could've possibly had.As for the father, no matter what his reasons there is no excuse for his behavior. I had a stepfather who would also say similar things to me. Eventually, I was able to leave and go live with my real dad. Is there any other family members? My first suggestion would be for her to seek them out and explain what is going on. See if they can get involved. Possibly they can talk to her father about his behavior and if nothing changes maybe she can live with them.If that isn't an option then I think she should seek out councillors at school. It honestly helps to talk to someone outside of the situation. My motto when I was going thru this was \"that which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger\". She should adopt that motto as well. She may not be able to get away from him until she is 18 but as crappy as living with him is, the only power he has over her life is the power she gives him. Meaning: she can be whatever she wants to be regardless of what he says. She has to know that what he is doing and saying is wrong so as painful and hurtful as it is, she has to learn to toughen up and say\"he's an asshole and I don't care what he says\"Be for her what my older boyfriend was to me - my saviour. Honestly at a time when I was going thru all that he was the only one who I felt was in my corner telling me all the time how beautiful,funny and smart I was. He made me feel special and loved and I honestly believe that I made it thru as a whole person because he was there.As for running away, I think your instincts are correct. You could get in a ton of trouble of the illegal variety! Since she is a minor and you are an adult and her dads a total jerk I think u could possibly be charged with kidnapping. I'm not certain but it seems it would be possible. So unless he is physically violent I think you need to find an alternate solution. If she is stuck it's only for 3 more years. I know it will feel like forever but like I said she will have to develop some tough skin and not let him break her!I wish you both the best of luck and hope it works out!
or:First and foremost:At any time have you been on the premises and seen WITH YOUR OWN EYES her father:Hit her, grab her, touch her any where on her body, or touch her on any part of her body considered inappropriate?Belittle her, curse her, call her names, threaten her, purposefully ignore her if she attempted to talk to him?Dressed inappropriately or minimally,fully nude, or genitalia exposed?The reason I am asking is what first hand knowledge do you have?Her telling you, showing bruises, crying or pleading is NOT first hand knowledge.I have known cases where the teenage girl described severe abuse, showed bruises, hysterical sobbing, threatening self-harm, begging to be saved. One boyfriend tried to kill the father and one boyfriend ran off with the girl to save her.The problem was that both girls were lying and NO ABUSE HAPPENED. Bruises were self-inflicted, they had active imaginations, were excellent actors, and highly manipulative.So before you work yourself up in a froth make darn sure you know first hand the truth, not hearsay of only what you've been told.If you've seen it first hand you report it to the police; you tell her to report it to the school nurse, report it to the school guidance counselor, report it to the school principal who is required by law to report suspected child abuse to Childrens' Protective Services.As an adult, If you take off with a minor and cross state lines or just go on the run you stand to be jailed.Tell her to turn her phone on and record conversations with her father to be used as proof with CPS.Do not run away with her and do not allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed by her threatening self-harm or suicide if you don't run away with her.Help her legally. Good luck!
