Do I have a disorder?

Hi, my name is Cole, I am 16 years old and I think that I have a disorder. I dont really know how to write this so Ill just tell you things that I hav

Hi, my name is Cole, I am 16 years old and I think that I have a disorder. I don't really know how to write this so I'll just tell you things that I have noticed about me that other people don't seem to do. I have never been good with people, I like to test them, I like to make them yell at me but I get upset when they do. I get impulses to lie, I can't make friends because all I do is lie. I told every one at my tafe that my father is jewish and that I used to be, his parents are christain and that they hate me. I think I made that up because I was reading about isreal at the time. I told one of my martial arts instuctors that I have minor autism, because of someone I liked on youtube who has autism. I thought for a while that I had Aspergers after I looked into it because my favorite character on a tv show has it. I noticed that I had alot of the symptoms, but not all of them. I told my mum that I thought I had it, but I think I wanted to have it, so I started lying to my mum about some of the traits aspies have. I also notice that I am very depressed and anxious. I have been told that I walk and stand awkwardly, like I just want to run away and hide. I also lied to my mum and told her that I have been having anxiety attacks at work. I've also tried to look very anxious, depressed, and sad at my martial arts school so people would ask me if I was okay. I also tell lies to try and fit in with people. I have also noticed that I get jealous at people who are famous or have had a hard life, like eminem, I started listening to his music and reading into his life, and I really wanted my life to be like his, not really the fame part, just the depression and hard parts, I wanted people to find me overdosed and close to death. I have a friend(I lied to her aswell) who is schizophrenic, and one time she had to walk away for whatever reason(I never asked her), and everyone including me felt bad for her, I didn't really know what schizophrenia was so I started looking into it, I watch a few videos, and now in the last few days, I feel really jealous of my friend and schizophrenics, I've noticed over the last few days my depression and anxiety levels are higher, and I've been thinking about schizophrenia more then I think is healthy, I don't want it but I think at the same time I do. I also go on yahoo answears and make up stories that might get peoples attenion, when they answear I fell happy, and when they don't I fell annoyed. I also lose my foucus easily and my mind just wonders. I also have trouble expressing myself, but I think that Is because I don't know alot of words. So those are just somethings that I have notice, I've notice a few things from my childedhood aswell that might have given me a disorder. My parents divorced when I was still a baby, I had alot of father issues when I went to school(I started school when I was 6, because I couldn't pronounce my words aswell as other children). My dad and step-mother would yell at me and hit me(I have a restrainging order against them now), I hated going to his house, he would always ask me to move in with him, I always told him I would think about it(I hated when he asked me), my step-mother would always insult my mum infront of me and make me really upset, when my mum would drop me of at his house they would always gang up on her and start screaming at her and insulting her. I don't know why, but I would join in, I always felt really bad and just wanted her to take me back home, or just felt like running away. eventually it got really bad that my mum requested that she drop me off at a police station and my dad and step-mother would come and pick me up. I also started lying to them after a while so they wouldn't hit me or yell at me(I think this I why I lie so mucn now). I don't rember when but I was around 7 or 8 when my mum got a boyfriend, Jason. I really like him, he moved in with us and I felt like I had a new father. My dad and Jason would be very passive agressive at each other, which upset me. My mum and jason broke up after year or something like that. I was very upset because I felt like I lost a father. I felt really depressed at my dads house after they broke up. After a while my father hit me to hard and left a lot of bruises on my body so I could get a restraining order. I felt really happy when this happend(I hard warts on my hands from the strees that went away). Though it didn't last, I don't know why but my friends all stoped talking to me, and we got kicked out of our house. We moved in with my uncle and his wife, but we felt unwelcome there so we move to melbourne and I started homeschooling(so I wasn't around other kids, the only people I talked to was my mother and sister). We moved in with my mums old boyfriend and they started dating agian. He had a son which I felt like he was my brother. My sister startd being mean to me around this time. it didn't work out though so we moved agian. we moved 7 times over 3 years(most of the houses we were kicked out of). My mum met a canadian guy over the internet (they are now engaged) and he came to vist us in australia, I was very nervous to meet him at first, but I grew to like him. we moved to canada with him and his kids when I was 13, we were there for 6 months, but we ran out of money so we had to move back to australia. I really miss him and his kids, me and my mum are moving back to canada early 2014. So this I just my life from my childhood into my early teens. Most of my life has felt depressing, I don't know if it helps when finding out if I have a disorder. So i have told you things that I notice about me that could be a disorder, and my early life which might cause a personality disorder. So, can you tell if I have a disorder or not? I know I said that I lie alot, so I don't expect you to believe me, but this what I think is the most honest I've ever been. I would go to a therapist, but I can't afford if. I also forgot to mention that in school my counsellor said I had some minor learning disabillitys, but he didn't diagnose anything. So can you tell me if you think I have a Disorder? If so can you tell me what and why you think that? Thank you for reading and please excuses my spelling. Cole.

or:Hi, my name is Cole, I am 16 years old and I think that I have a disorder. I don't really know how to write this so I'll just tell you things that I have noticed about me that other people don't seem to do. I have never been good with people, I like to test them, I like to make them yell at me but I get upset when they do. I get impulses to lie, I can't make friends because all I do is lie. I told every one at my tafe that my father is jewish and that I used to be, his parents are christain and that they hate me. I think I made that up because I was reading about isreal at the time. I told one of my martial arts instuctors that I have minor autism, because of someone I liked on youtube who has autism. I thought for a while that I had Aspergers after I looked into it because my favorite character on a tv show has it. I noticed that I had alot of the symptoms, but not all of them. I told my mum that I thought I had it, but I think I wanted to have it, so I started lying to my mum about some of the traits aspies have. I also notice that I am very depressed and anxious. I have been told that I walk and stand awkwardly, like I just want to run away and hide. I also lied to my mum and told her that I have been having anxiety attacks at work. I've also tried to look very anxious, depressed, and sad at my martial arts school so people would ask me if I was okay. I also tell lies to try and fit in with people. I have also noticed that I get jealous at people who are famous or have had a hard life, like eminem, I started listening to his music and reading into his life, and I really wanted my life to be like his, not really the fame part, just the depression and hard parts, I wanted people to find me overdosed and close to death. I have a friend(I lied to her aswell) who is schizophrenic, and one time she had to walk away for whatever reason(I never asked her), and everyone including me felt bad for her, I didn't really know what schizophrenia was so I started looking into it, I watch a few videos, and now in the last few days, I feel really jealous of my friend and schizophrenics, I've noticed over the last few days my depression and anxiety levels are higher, and I've been thinking about schizophrenia more then I think is healthy, I don't want it but I think at the same time I do. I also go on yahoo answears and make up stories that might get peoples attenion, when they answear I fell happy, and when they don't I fell annoyed. I also lose my foucus easily and my mind just wonders. I also have trouble expressing myself, but I think that Is because I don't know alot of words. So those are just somethings that I have notice, I've notice a few things from my childedhood aswell that might have given me a disorder. My parents divorced when I was still a baby, I had alot of father issues when I went to school(I started school when I was 6, because I couldn't pronounce my words aswell as other children). My dad and step-mother would yell at me and hit me(I have a restrainging order against them now), I hated going to his house, he would always ask me to move in with him, I always told him I would think about it(I hated when he asked me), my step-mother would always insult my mum infront of me and make me really upset, when my mum would drop me of at his house they would always gang up on her and start screaming at her and insulting her. I don't know why, but I would join in, I always felt really bad and just wanted her to take me back home, or just felt like running away. eventually it got really bad that my mum requested that she drop me off at a police station and my dad and step-mother would come and pick me up. I also started lying to them after a while so they wouldn't hit me or yell at me(I think this I why I lie so mucn now). I don't rember when but I was around 7 or 8 when my mum got a boyfriend, Jason. I really like him, he moved in with us and I felt like I had a new father. My dad and Jason would be very passive agressive at each other, which upset me. My mum and jason broke up after year or something like that. I was very upset because I felt like I lost a father. I felt really depressed at my dads house after they broke up. After a while my father hit me to hard and left a lot of bruises on my body so I could get a restraining order. I felt really happy when this happend(I hard warts on my hands from the strees that went away). Though it didn't last, I don't know why but my friends all stoped talking to me, and we got kicked out of our house. We moved in with my uncle and his wife, but we felt unwelcome there so we move to melbourne and I started homeschooling(so I wasn't around other kids, the only people I talked to was my mother and sister). We moved in with my mums old boyfriend and they started dating agian. He had a son which I felt like he was my brother. My sister startd being mean to me around this time. it didn't work out though so we moved agian. we moved 7 times over 3 years(most of the houses we were kicked out of). My mum met a canadian guy over the internet (they are now engaged) and he came to vist us in australia, I was very nervous to meet him at first, but I grew to like him. we moved to canada with him and his kids when I was 13, we were there for 6 months, but we ran out of money so we had to move back to australia. I really miss him and his kids, me and my mum are moving back to canada early 2014. So this I just my life from my childhood into my early teens. Most of my life has felt depressing, I don't know if it helps when finding out if I have a disorder. So i have told you things that I notice about me that could be a disorder, and my early life which might cause a personality disorder. So, can you tell if I have a disorder or not? I know I said that I lie alot, so I don't expect you to believe me, but this what I think is the most honest I've ever been. I would go to a therapist, but I can't afford if. I also forgot to mention that in school my counsellor said I had some minor learning disabillitys, but he didn't diagnose anything. So can you tell me if you think I have a Disorder? If so can you tell me what and why you think that? Thank you for reading and please excuses my spelling. Cole.

or:It's not weird for you to be jealous of someone for their disorder or even to wish you had it. I'm majoring in psychology after school and and I've noticed that its a deeply flawed profession. If you went to a psychologist you would most likely definitely be diagnosed with something. Maybe histrionic personality disorder. My friend has it and she is a lot like you've described yourself to be. Although, the diagnosis would be purely based on textbook information. No person is the same so classifying them as depressed or psychotic and throwing them some meds isn't always the answer. I know your hoping for someone to just label you already but its far more complex than that. From what you've explained I could give you a whole list of disorders that would fit you but in your case its probably something less known. Don't make the mistake of just googling the common disorders and convincing yourself you have that. I don't know how it is over in Australia because I live in b.c canada but there are some places here where you can go in for free to see a psychologist. Also our education system is pretty extreme on the whole mental health subject. I'm homeschooled now as well but when I was in grade 8 I skipped classes and a counselor called me in to talk about depression...so if your going to public school you'll definitely be able to see someone about it. I'll give you a few I think you could possibly have. Histrionic personality disorder- someone who is not really considered narcisstic but thinks everything revolves around them. They love attention and will do anything to get it. Pathological liar - exactly what it sound like. Someone who lies a lot. Not because they have to but simply because they like to. They'd lie about useless things where the answer doesn't matter like what color their pillow is or what they ate for lunch. Cyclothymia - a mild form of depression. Add - a learning disability. Maybe what your counselor was talking about you having. Hope I could help and that you find out what's wrong with you :)

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