How can I be cisgender?

I hate my boobs vehemently. My hips too. I love dressing masc, but I know I’ll be less respected. I’ve never felt any connection to women-

I hate my boobs vehemently. My hips too. I love dressing masc, but I know I’ll be less respected. I’ve never felt any connection to women-hood, but when I was younger I had no problem wearing girls clothes. It made boys more upset that I was faster, stronger, and more agile than all of them in a skirt. I would sometimes have nightmares about puberty and when it started I become so moody and depressed. I cried all the time. I would constantly think of Mulan. Sport become gendered, so I stopped that. My boobs felt so unnatural and weird and they still do. I came out as transgender because that felt right. I was osted. My church didn’t accept me. Half my friend group left me. I never came out to my family. I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel right. I kept on seeing politicians going after people like me. People would constantly tell me how bad trans people were. The adults would join in, sometimes starting the conversation. I would constantly write kill me then draw over it. I don’t want to be transgender. People would judge and stare at me telling me wrong bathroom in the girls bathroom, but I wasn’t allow in the men's. I know when I was a child I didn’t mind some dresses and skirts. It’s easier for everyone. I just don't know how to feel comfortable as a woman now. I just want to be comfortable and respected. I don't
know how to do that at this given time. I need assistance. I'll be going into my freshman year of college. No one knows me. That gives me a fresh start to do whatever I want. I live in Florida.

or:I hate my boobs vehemently. My hips too. I love dressing masc, but I know I\u2019ll be less respected. I\u2019ve never felt any connection to women-hood, but when I was younger I had no problem wearing girls clothes. It made boys more upset that I was faster, stronger, and more agile than all of them in a skirt. I would sometimes have nightmares about puberty and when it started I become so moody and depressed. I cried all the time. I would constantly think of Mulan. Sport become gendered, so I stopped that. My boobs felt so unnatural and weird and they still do. I came out as transgender because that felt right. I was osted. My church didn\u2019t accept me. Half my friend group left me. I never came out to my family. I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel right. I kept on seeing politicians going after people like me. People would constantly tell me how bad trans people were. The adults would join in, sometimes starting the conversation. I would constantly write kill me then draw over it. I don\u2019t want to be transgender. People would judge and stare at me telling me wrong bathroom in the girls bathroom, but I wasn\u2019t allow in the men's. I know when I was a child I didn\u2019t mind some dresses and skirts. It\u2019s easier for everyone. I just don't know how to feel comfortable as a woman now. I just want to be comfortable and respected. I don't know how to do that at this given time. I need assistance. I'll be going into my freshman year of college. No one knows me. That gives me a fresh start to do whatever I want. I live in Florida.

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