How can I tell if I was emotionally abused?
Recently Ive heard about emotional abuse and how it affects kids who went through it through to adulthood. As kids, my little sister and I were often
Recently I've heard about emotional abuse and how it affects kids who went through it through to adulthood. As kids, my little sister and I were often bullied, but I have begun to question some of my parent's behavior as well. My father is distant, and I never can trust that he's telling the truth because he'll say whatever he thinks will make us happy, eventually leading to him getting so angry that he'll explode. Because we aren't doing what he wanted. He's kicked holes in doors, punched walls, and driven off with the car, leaving me to wonder if he was ever going to come back. He never actually hurt any of us though.
My mom would tell me all her problems when I was a kid, I would hear about everything she couldn't tell my dad or anything that she had issues with. I was her confidant even though I was just a kid. She also was, and is, able to make me feel guilty without much effort. One sentence and I'd be feeling sick with guilt, my mind running over the event that I 'did wrong' over and over. I trust her a lot more than my dad, but at the same time, I feel like what she expects of me is impossible.
The effects on my sister and I is what made me consider that this was outside the norm. Both of us deal with mental illness, her with depression and myself with anxiety. She gets angry and explodes and picks fights with our parents. She sees our father as pathetic and broken. She's a lot more comfortable with our mother, but she still has problems with her as well. I avoid conflict, getting quiet and just agreeing or leaving the situation. Instead of staying and fighting when things get intense I run away. I have memory problems. I blame myself all the time and apologize, (a habit that I've only recently started trying to break). I used to get incredibly anxious if I didn't apologize, even if it wasn't my fault.
As kids we were compared to each other, 'why can't you behave like your sister' (mostly for my sister) or 'you're __ age, start acting like it' (both of us).
Anyway, I know it's not a lot but does this seem like emotional abuse? I just want to know for sure, for my own peace of mind.
Thanks,
or:Recently I've heard about emotional abuse and how it affects kids who went through it through to adulthood. As kids, my little sister and I were often bullied, but I have begun to question some of my parent's behavior as well. My father is distant, and I never can trust that he's telling the truth because he'll say whatever he thinks will make us happy, eventually leading to him getting so angry that he'll explode. Because we aren't doing what he wanted. He's kicked holes in doors, punched walls, and driven off with the car, leaving me to wonder if he was ever going to come back. He never actually hurt any of us though. My mom would tell me all her problems when I was a kid, I would hear about everything she couldn't tell my dad or anything that she had issues with. I was her confidant even though I was just a kid. She also was, and is, able to make me feel guilty without much effort. One sentence and I'd be feeling sick with guilt, my mind running over the event that I 'did wrong' over and over. I trust her a lot more than my dad, but at the same time, I feel like what she expects of me is impossible. The effects on my sister and I is what made me consider that this was outside the norm. Both of us deal with mental illness, her with depression and myself with anxiety. She gets angry and explodes and picks fights with our parents. She sees our father as pathetic and broken. She's a lot more comfortable with our mother, but she still has problems with her as well. I avoid conflict, getting quiet and just agreeing or leaving the situation. Instead of staying and fighting when things get intense I run away. I have memory problems. I blame myself all the time and apologize, (a habit that I've only recently started trying to break). I used to get incredibly anxious if I didn't apologize, even if it wasn't my fault. As kids we were compared to each other, 'why can't you behave like your sister' (mostly for my sister) or 'you're __ age, start acting like it' (both of us). Anyway, I know it's not a lot but does this seem like emotional abuse? I just want to know for sure, for my own peace of mind. Thanks,
or:Ineptness is not abuse. A lot of parents are inept, but abuse is rather rare.
