I am seeing myself as a loser although I am mot a loser? I dont know who I am ? I lost myself?

Everything is going bad after my sisters death because she died because of me.My whole family is educated and i am not.I am not even graduated.I hate

Everything is going bad after my sister's death because she died because of me.
My whole family is educated and i am not.
I am not even graduated.
I hate studies and just because of this i am doing two jobs just to ignore everything but i am lost ?
I think i forgot who i am ? What i am ?
I hav few friends but nobody knows whats just going inside me ?
i want someone to be mine with whom atleast once i can share my whole stuff ?

or:Everything is going bad after my sister's death because she died because of me.My whole family is educated and i am not.I am not even graduated.I hate studies and just because of this i am doing two jobs just to ignore everything but i am lost ?I think i forgot who i am ? What i am ?I hav few friends but nobody knows whats just going inside me ?i want someone to be mine with whom atleast once i can share my whole stuff ?

Tags:death,losers,everything,