My fiance's sister is planning my dream wedding for her big day. What should I do?

We decided not to announce our engagement for awhile because we want to finish our degrees first. In the meantime, his sister (older by one year) got

We decided not to announce our engagement for awhile because we want to finish our degrees first. In the meantime, his sister (older by one year) got engaged and is planning to be married before we intend to announce our big plans. She is planning my dream wedding- same month, same color scheme, etc and asked both of us to be in it. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I also don't want to copy her/change my plans. Any suggestions?

or:We decided not to announce our engagement for awhile because we want to finish our degrees first. In the meantime, his sister (older by one year) got engaged and is planning to be married before we intend to announce our big plans. She is planning my dream wedding- same month, same color scheme, etc and asked both of us to be in it. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I also don't want to copy her/change my plans. Any suggestions?

or:My suggestion is that you get your fiance to back you up and have a serious \"sit down\" with the sister and be as gentle as possible, but firm with your expression about the way this is selfish of her to do this to you. I would let her know that if the shoe were on the other foot, she probably wouldn't like it either. This is an extremely special moment in both yours and your husband to be's lives, it will be remembered for the rest of your lives whether it turns out magically or tragically. This is going to be a day that your future children (perhaps) and grandchildren will ask about and that's something else to point out to her! Since she is an in-law to be, she may wind up being resented for ruining one of the biggest decisions of your life. And from personal experience, I can tell you that not confronting this situation may plant a seed of anger and resentment inside you that could result in a grudge being held against your future husband since he is her brother and he will want to have communication and ties to his immediate family. I would not just let this happen without a fight! And I don't mean start a fight, try talking to her in a loving manner. Good luck to you!

or:Congratulations on your engagement! Now, I suggest you try to have a talk with his sister about how your wedding should play out in a gentle manner. It's your wedding and it should be played out in both your vision and in also your fiance's. It's a big day for the both of you and to have it in someone else's vision would make it not so special, have a calm tone when you talk to her it should play out.Good luck! :)

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