Problems disciplining my son?

I have a 12 year old son. My wife, my son and I live with my wifes father since I am unable to work due to back problems. I have tried to get disabili

I have a 12 year old son. My wife, my son and I live with my wifes father since I am unable to work due to back problems. I have tried to get disability but they will not give it to me because I have a bachelors degree and they say I can do work most other people can't. The fact is I spend most of the day in the bed because the only time my back doesn't hurt is when I'm laying down. I am currently trying to teach myself web development which I could do while laying in bed and then we could find a place of our own but that still wouldn't totally solve all our problems. My son is never disciplined. When my wife and I try to discipline him he starts screaming and his grandpa, my wifes dad, steps in and prevents us from doing it. We are pretty much forced to do what he says because we live in his house. My son has anxiety, depression and irritable bowel syndrom. When his anxiety is bothering him or he gets worked up his stomach starts hurting him and he throws up. Sometimes I feel like he throws up on purpose to get out of things or to make others feel sorry for him. Because of all of this he has missed a ton of school. We have had the school hand deliver a letter to our house and they have threatened to take us to court because he misses so much. My son doesn't do any chores. He makes messes all the time and I am the one who cleans them up. As an example of things he does I had done some laundry today and folded the clothes and laid them on grandpas bed so everyone could put them where they go. When my son came home he threw the sheets off the bed so he could lay down and there went the clothes I had folded into the floor. I called to tell my wife about this and she asked me if I had picked the clothes up yet. I told her no that he needed to do that and she said she couldn't deal with all the screaming he would do and that I needed to take care of it. Another example is yesterday I told my son he needed to take a bath and help bath his dog, which of course I also take complete care of the dog he doesn't help. My son said he wasn't feeling good so he wasn't going to bath himself or the dog. I told him if he didn't do what I asked I was taking his iphone and the computer away for the rest of the day and today. First he went to grandpa to complain and got gramps all mad at me then he called mom and she told him as long as he took a bath when she got home he could have his phone and the computer. I don't know what to do at this point. To make matters worse my wife has threatened to leave me. She says she doesn't love me anymore. I need some advice on how I can get my wife and grandpa to realize that my son needs to be disciplined sometimes. I'm worried that if things continue like this my son will have serious problems when he gets older. Please help

or:I have a 12 year old son. My wife, my son and I live with my wifes father since I am unable to work due to back problems. I have tried to get disability but they will not give it to me because I have a bachelors degree and they say I can do work most other people can't. The fact is I spend most of the day in the bed because the only time my back doesn't hurt is when I'm laying down. I am currently trying to teach myself web development which I could do while laying in bed and then we could find a place of our own but that still wouldn't totally solve all our problems. My son is never disciplined. When my wife and I try to discipline him he starts screaming and his grandpa, my wifes dad, steps in and prevents us from doing it. We are pretty much forced to do what he says because we live in his house. My son has anxiety, depression and irritable bowel syndrom. When his anxiety is bothering him or he gets worked up his stomach starts hurting him and he throws up. Sometimes I feel like he throws up on purpose to get out of things or to make others feel sorry for him. Because of all of this he has missed a ton of school. We have had the school hand deliver a letter to our house and they have threatened to take us to court because he misses so much. My son doesn't do any chores. He makes messes all the time and I am the one who cleans them up. As an example of things he does I had done some laundry today and folded the clothes and laid them on grandpas bed so everyone could put them where they go. When my son came home he threw the sheets off the bed so he could lay down and there went the clothes I had folded into the floor. I called to tell my wife about this and she asked me if I had picked the clothes up yet. I told her no that he needed to do that and she said she couldn't deal with all the screaming he would do and that I needed to take care of it. Another example is yesterday I told my son he needed to take a bath and help bath his dog, which of course I also take complete care of the dog he doesn't help. My son said he wasn't feeling good so he wasn't going to bath himself or the dog. I told him if he didn't do what I asked I was taking his iphone and the computer away for the rest of the day and today. First he went to grandpa to complain and got gramps all mad at me then he called mom and she told him as long as he took a bath when she got home he could have his phone and the computer. I don't know what to do at this point. To make matters worse my wife has threatened to leave me. She says she doesn't love me anymore. I need some advice on how I can get my wife and grandpa to realize that my son needs to be disciplined sometimes. I'm worried that if things continue like this my son will have serious problems when he gets older. Please help

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