Someone answer me. please?

I have been holding everything back forever and I have tried to talk to people about it like my friends, my mom, and also my dad. But it always either

I have been holding everything back forever and I have tried to talk to people about it like my friends, my mom, and also my dad. But it always either ends up with an argument or just me being ignored. I am done, I wish that someone would listen and I was hoping these will help. you know how you read those quote's that say " The one that hurts the most is the one that helps." well I am not saying the I hurt the most I know there are people out there that have it worst. However, my family is not fond of me...as much as I wish they were. I have a mom who likes to talk about she had it hard in the past and how I have it better then her, which I believe her, but she is not the mothering type of human...very disrespectful, harsh, rude, and cold hearted. my father on the other hand is awesome and loving the totally opposite as her, but he is never there. he is a marine and is always at work or deployed for a year or two. I am always with my mother. I have an older sister and brother, they both have kids and live in their own houses. when I was younger my brother and sister would fight with me and gang up on me. I remembering my brother dangling me by my feet and my sister punching me in my gut. My brother was 22 and my sister was 16 I would have been 10. I don't mind that any more the past is in the past. my father was never at any of my birthday party's and my mother would only allow me to invite 2 friends and then all my cousins. I have never been able to do something important for my family or my friends, I have been a waste of time. I am useless, worthless and I have tried not to hurt myself, I draw on myself instead of cutting and I have not thought of suicide but I have made up my mind that if I am ever in a scenario where my life on the line I will not run away from it. I have never thought of killing myself, however in every dream I have I die in the end and it is never a pleasant death it is always painful and gory. I have told people about them and they tell me it is nothing...but I am scare of sleep because of it. I hate see the last breathe being taken away and the people not even notice I am gone. how do I live with the pain I have given everyone they tell me I am stupid I am dull, worthless, not good at anything, the devil. I am good in school...I am not that bright...or smart. but If I was able to talk I would be able to understand...I a, worthless...I have done nothing to gain worth...I cry myself to sleep at 2 in the morning and nobody cares. I have written many letter's to myself or someone...someone please tell me you care about someone who has done everything to be noticed but never gets a hello.

or:I have been holding everything back forever and I have tried to talk to people about it like my friends, my mom, and also my dad. But it always either ends up with an argument or just me being ignored. I am done, I wish that someone would listen and I was hoping these will help. you know how you read those quote's that say \" The one that hurts the most is the one that helps.\" well I am not saying the I hurt the most I know there are people out there that have it worst. However, my family is not fond of me...as much as I wish they were. I have a mom who likes to talk about she had it hard in the past and how I have it better then her, which I believe her, but she is not the mothering type of human...very disrespectful, harsh, rude, and cold hearted. my father on the other hand is awesome and loving the totally opposite as her, but he is never there. he is a marine and is always at work or deployed for a year or two. I am always with my mother. I have an older sister and brother, they both have kids and live in their own houses. when I was younger my brother and sister would fight with me and gang up on me. I remembering my brother dangling me by my feet and my sister punching me in my gut. My brother was 22 and my sister was 16 I would have been 10. I don't mind that any more the past is in the past. my father was never at any of my birthday party's and my mother would only allow me to invite 2 friends and then all my cousins. I have never been able to do something important for my family or my friends, I have been a waste of time. I am useless, worthless and I have tried not to hurt myself, I draw on myself instead of cutting and I have not thought of suicide but I have made up my mind that if I am ever in a scenario where my life on the line I will not run away from it. I have never thought of killing myself, however in every dream I have I die in the end and it is never a pleasant death it is always painful and gory. I have told people about them and they tell me it is nothing...but I am scare of sleep because of it. I hate see the last breathe being taken away and the people not even notice I am gone. how do I live with the pain I have given everyone they tell me I am stupid I am dull, worthless, not good at anything, the devil. I am good in school...I am not that bright...or smart. but If I was able to talk I would be able to understand...I a, worthless...I have done nothing to gain worth...I cry myself to sleep at 2 in the morning and nobody cares. I have written many letter's to myself or someone...someone please tell me you care about someone who has done everything to be noticed but never gets a hello.

or:Hang in there girl. Keep pushing yourself for you. I went through the same thing as a kid. I even had the notion that I had some how got mixed up at birth, because there was no way that I could have came from my family. I sweet and kind-hearted and they weren't. It didn't help that I look completely opposite of my parents and siblings. Find some good friends, read some good books that can help you to dream of better things. That's what I did, and I'm still here and I'm doing good, and my family is doing better. Heck my siblings even apologized for treating me so badly. You got this girl. Push on. And don't give up. My quote through Hugh school was always \"I can do anything through God, he who gives me strength.\" And it really helped me push on and keep succeeding.

or:Even if your family thinks you aren't worth it, doesn't mean the rest of us do. I'll be there for you, if you like. And I think alot of other people are willing to be there, too. No matter what people tell you, you are awesome, amazing, beautiful, brave, kind, caring, smart, and you. You are you. You have a life to lead. You are alive. You are amazing beyond words, in your own way. And nobody, not your family, not your friends, not even yourself can take that away from you. May God's wisdom and patience be with you.

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